If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
