Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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