I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Ketchup is God's man juice
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
