I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
