My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
