bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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