I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize