im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
