I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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