I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
