I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Randomize
