Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
