Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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