WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
