TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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