Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Please don't give away my fajitas
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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