yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
