I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
