You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
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