you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
PANTIES FOUND
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
