I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
