your thong is hanging out like whoa
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
