from now on my penis is your penis
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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