Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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