Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
