so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
