Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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