Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Randomize
