A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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