he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
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