ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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