Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
i out mim tonsoeep
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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