i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
