I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
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