Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
