is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
