She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
