I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
