I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
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