I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
