you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
