i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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