Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
The Olympian is in my bed
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
