There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
