but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
