what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
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