Fine. I'll sleep in my office
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
