I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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