I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
