two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
