Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
