it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
