How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
