he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
