i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize