I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
