He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Randomize
