Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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