That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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