I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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