Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
